January 1, 2016.  Sitting on the couch, coffee in hand, fireplace on, dogs curled up on each side of me and  my new devotional open to Day 1.*  The title of this first entry is “Unsettled”. The recommendation to pray that God unsettles my life so He can change me, causes panic.  I paid good money for a book that suggests I pray for my worst fear to happen.  Pray I would lose control.  Would you do that?  Could you deliberately ask for your life to be turned upside down so you could be a better person?

Change has that ripple effect like dropping a pebble in water.  Changing anything, changes everything.  Here’s the dilemma-I do want God to change me.  What I don’t want is the effort and discomfort.  Like Cinderella,  whose fairy godmother waves her wand, sings a catchy tune and turns her into a princess, I want an easier softer way.  Alas, there is no change, in the real world, without work and uncertainty.  God is so much more than a fairy godmother, a granter of wished.  The changes He wants to make in me are deep heart changes, altering my character, my attitude and thus my actions.  These are changes I cannot make on my own strength and am often unwilling to give to Him.

Becoming unsettled must be the beginning of change.  First, I begin to notice thoughts, words, behaviors about myself I’m not liking.  I try to ignore them.  They keep popping up and upsetting me.  I resist.  Eventually, I am willing to become the person I am meant to be.  I turn to God and ask for help.  He grants my wish.

*”Made To Crave Devotional” by Lysa Terkeurst


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