January 1, 2016. Sitting on the couch, coffee in hand, fireplace on, dogs curled up on each side of me and my new devotional open to Day 1.* The title of this first entry is “Unsettled”. The recommendation to pray that God unsettles my life so He can change me, causes panic. I paid good money for a book that suggests I pray for my worst fear to happen. Pray I would lose control. Would you do that? Could you deliberately ask for your life to be turned upside down so you could be a better person?
Change has that ripple effect like dropping a pebble in water. Changing anything, changes everything. Here’s the dilemma-I do want God to change me. What I don’t want is the effort and discomfort. Like Cinderella, whose fairy godmother waves her wand, sings a catchy tune and turns her into a princess, I want an easier softer way. Alas, there is no change, in the real world, without work and uncertainty. God is so much more than a fairy godmother, a granter of wished. The changes He wants to make in me are deep heart changes, altering my character, my attitude and thus my actions. These are changes I cannot make on my own strength and am often unwilling to give to Him.
Becoming unsettled must be the beginning of change. First, I begin to notice thoughts, words, behaviors about myself I’m not liking. I try to ignore them. They keep popping up and upsetting me. I resist. Eventually, I am willing to become the person I am meant to be. I turn to God and ask for help. He grants my wish.
*”Made To Crave Devotional” by Lysa Terkeurst